All About Her…The Eternal Shadowz
So now I’ve decided to stop and really put my story to paper, or should say webpage for those to read. I will include her short history, her story, and what is currently in play today, and how it all ties into the Eternal Shadowz that wanders the earth aimlessly, seeking something.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
ABOUT HER CHARACTER:
NAME: Shadowz--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
PLAYER:----------------------------
CHRONICLE:--------------------
NATURE: Deviant
DEMEANOR: Survivor
CLAN: Malkavian-Assamite (Cross breed by a Blood Bond)
GENERATION: 7th Generation
HAVEN: Anywhere that she was left alone.
CONCEPT: Dilettante – Investigator
SIRE: Drake (no last name ever revealed) (Killed shortly after agreeing to start her training)
THE BEGINNING
They had watched her for years, wondering what it was about this girl that others had always feared. It wasn't until they seen how she was able to learn things at an excessive rate that it was truly understood. She thirsted for knowledge, and in all forms, but her pet project was always watching other's around her, studying their moves, how they interacted with each other, and how they lived. For years she has wandered the world alone, in the darkness, where she was safe from humanity. They didn't like her, because she was smarter then most, they didn't like her, cause she wore her battle scars as a token of the life she had to lead. Forever forsaken by humanity they didn't understand her, they didn't want her around because to them she was a freak. So she kept to the shadows, always wondering what it would be like to be accepted , but alas she gave up wanting it, and stayed to her studies, always bettering her mind, teaching herself new things, only because that is what brought her happiness. Her companion was animals because she understood how they felt when they were neglected, and abused. So she adopted a lone wolf. Found him as a pup and kept him as a pet, and he remained loyal to her until his dying breath. Now alone again, she lurks the shadows. Hiding in them while watching those that live in the daylight. As she left one school to move on to another it was then they had decided they would take her, and find out what it was about this girl that everyone was so terrified of.
They kept her in seclusion, and she enjoyed it, because they had placed her in a library with millions of books, so she was never bored, and she was soaking up more knowledge then anyone thought would be possible. It was then they realized what she was, she was a researcher, always had to test her knowledge on everything and everyone. They had found tablets, loose pieces of paper, whatever she could write on, filled with whatever she was working on, and it was in a language they couldn't understand as she had found a way to do this without anyone stealing her ideas. Sadly though as they looked at the trays of food they brought her, they also realized she didn't feed much because it would grow moldy and rot away. The elder of the house decided it was time to talk with her to find out why she rarely ate.
They came in the library one night and asked her to follow them, she agreed, but asked not to be kept to long because she was on a break through on whatever she was working on, she never revealed anything she was working on to anyone. They laughed and said it would not be a problem and that she would be able to resume to her task at hand. It was amazing they had left the door to the library unlocked for a few weeks now and she never once ventured out into the castle. she had made a bed in one of the oversized chairs in the library and that is where she slept once in a while. It had been days since she last slept, and it was starting to take a toll on her, and they knew this well. They knew she only slept a few hours every 3 days, and were concerned for her health there, but the drs told them that this was normal for her. So they left it alone.
That night as she walked through the halls with the men that had asked her to come with them, they were amazed at how well she was since they had taken her , it had been 6 months since they took her in the middle of the night, and she never once demanded to be released, or said she would call the police or anything. Probably because in all reality, she knew no one missed her, so she wasn't worried about anything. As she walked the hall down to the main hallway right off the main room where they had all gathered nightly to watch her in the library, she had never seen them, and when they brought her food, she never once looked up from whatever book she had shoved in her face. Amazed at her beauty and the green eyes she held, they now understood why she was the way she was. She was truly different from everyone. She was a true scholar that her only pleasure in life was to learn new things.
Nervously she stood there watching everyone as they looked at her, and her first reaction to them all was "Take a damn picture it will last forever", that broke the silence and they all laughed and assured her they were not staring at her cause of the scars on her arms, from the abuse she endured as a child, but because they were simply amazed by the look in her eyes. They now understood what the saying that the eyes were the path to the soul, and as each one looked at her, they had seen the torment, and abuse she endured as a child. They truly understood why society deemed her different, she was different, she was a true warrior that had survived.
The Elder of the house stood before her, and spoke softly to her,"we are here for you because we are concerned, when we come in and retrieve your food trays, we have noticed that you do not eat quite often as most humans do, and we wish to know why." Taken back by all this, she stood there watching them, and spoke kindly, "it's not that I do not wish to eat, I just merely forget food is there, and when I finally remember it, it's spoiled and started to rot, so I just walk away." He glanced at her, and then looked around the room, and said," well we can change that for you, to where you may never have to feed again, the only thing you will require will be blood, for you to survive, but we do not know how you will take to living a life like this, as many have opted to perish because they couldn't handle the thought of drinking blood."
With a complex look she stood there, and snickered and said, "I already knew what you were that night, 6 months ago. That is why I did not put up a fight then and still haven't to this day. I know the door to the library is unlocked and that I'm free to leave at anytime. The reason I have not left is because I have enjoyed the books you have in that room, and the fact that no one bothers, and I do not have to be around mortals like myself because of how much they hate me, I am an outcast to them, she stops and looks down to her arms, and says it because I have these scars. Then she rolls up the sleeves of her t-shirt the rest of the way, and reveal the rest. This is not all of them for they are all over my back as well. I am a true warrior, and victim that has survived every abuse one human being can be put through. My only true salvation was taken from me 4 days before you sent your men to abduct me. His name was Wolf and he was a pure bred wolf that I kept until his dying breath. He was my only companion in this life. "
The others stood there in shock that this woman, this unique, wonderful person had to endure all that hatred that humanity can inflict on someone, and how she survived it was amazing to them. Laughing to herself, she said, " how i survived is a mystery to everyone, but I know the secret and how I did it, and why I did it." Stunned that she was able to read minds, they then asked her how she did survive that much abuse. Looking around the room, she slowly started walking towards them, and began to speak again, "Because I believe the greatest torment to those that have abused me is for me to live, and to be the constant reminder of how evil humanity is towards each other, and for that merely dying was not an option for me, and I can not hate those that have abused me, instead I just feel pity for them, because they do not know what they did to me, for eternity I will be reminded with the scars of my life as a child, you see the mere physical scars, not the emotional ones that never truly heal, they just scab over, and I jump into whatever I'm wanting to research so that I can merely forget those times, for they are haunting me, I am plagued by the memories of them. That is my greatest revenge to them all, to merely live and show the world that humanity is cruel and evil, and that I have survived it all."
Standing there they were in shock and the Elder who she now stood before looked deeply in her emerald green eyes, and seen the true pain that lurked behind those eyes. He was shocked at what he saw, how she was abused in all forms, and never once did she learn to hate anyone from it. He now understood her even more, and why she was not afraid of them, she knew with them she was accepted and rightly she should be. Her scars made her even more beautiful to them, and knowing now that she was a true survivor made them even more sure that what they were offering her was the right thing. Standing there he looked at her and spoke again," We do not wish for anyone to go through what you endured, but understand that some go through it for a purpose, and we believe that you were put in our sight for such a purpose, to research for us, to gather intell on our enemies, and etc. We are pleased you have remained here and never wanted to leave, and now we are offering you a chance to become immortal so that you may make those that have abused suffer even more because you will live forever, while they will perish and watch all the evil things they have done to you, and not be able to fix their wrongs."
She backed up slowly and thought long and hard about the offer that was just placed before her. She walked around the room and was still thinking about it before she finally made her final decision. Standing in the center of the room with them all circled around her, she turned and looked at each one and began to speak, " I accept your offer, but not for mere vengeance, only because I do not believe in vengeance on these mere fools, they are beneath me, and I do not wish to be around them, I accept your offer, because these 6 months have been wonderful for me, I know what it is now to be truly accepted and appreciated as a scholar that I am. I do however miss having a companion like my wolf, but have stayed because here I am safe, and protected, so with great pride I accept your offer, and welcome it with open arms."
They all stood there watching her amazed that she was not seeking vengeance or revenge against those that have harmed, but just merely wished to keep their distance from her. So as they stood there, the elder turned and shook his head, and told one of the men, "Bring forth her desire." He nodded and left the room, it was 10 minutes later that he returned with a white wolf that had blue eyes, and handed him over to her. He backed away as she placed the pup near her heart, and looked up at the Elder with tears in her eyes, and thanked him. He smiled and said that no thanks was needed, as for weeks they had watched a pack of wolves be hunted, and knowing not to get mixed up with humans when they are hunting, he knew they would try to kill the pups after they were born, so they hid the mother and her pups and kept them hidden. It was the wish of the mother that her last born which would not survive the world be taken and raised as mere companion, and we knew you had missed your last one dearly, and that you would be the best to raise him, as your compassion for animals is unremarkable. You are able to tame the most wildest of animals, and be friends with them. He then walked to her, and said, " Well we have taken up a lot of your time tonight, if you wish to take your new companion back to your area, you may leave now, but before you do, the room right next to the library with it's own entrance into the library has been made into a bedroom for you should you wish to lay in a real bed once in a while, we did this while you were here talking to us, it was another surprize we had in store for you. " She stood there in awe, not knowing if this was a dream or not, but thanked them all and left the area.
The men that escorted her down to the main hall did not escort her back as the Elder told them it wouldn't be necessary anymore,because she was not leaving them. They all agreed, and started the preparing for her turning which would take place one night during the full moon. Amazed at how well they accepted her, she looked at her new pup in her arms, and said I will call you "Drake, for you are a strong warrior much like your mother, and you will live at my side as my companion, and not as a mere pet."
So it has been a month since she was embraced into the darkness. Sitting in her room one night, her Sire appears in the room and looks at her and says, "My dear what seems to be troubling you as of late?" She looks up at him and shrugs. He sits down on the floor next to her, and placing his arm around her shoulder, and begins reading her thoughts, and that is when she slams the door shut in her mind. Shocked that she would do such a thing, he turns her face with his finger tips and says , "Shad0wz you have been quiet all this time, not asking questions, not doing much of anything expect watching Drake get older." She looks to him and begins in a soft voice to speak to him, " Father it's been a month since I accepted this dark gift, and though I do love being a vampire, and feeding when I want to, I just feel like there is gnawing madness inside my mind, like there are voices and so forth telling me to seek out vengeance against those that have wronged me, and I do not know how to handle this side of me. For I have been against vengeance for so long that I would not know how to carry it out to begin with. I am a researcher and nothing else." Sighing he turns away from her and stands up and reaches his hand out to her and asks her take his hand. Accepting his hand once again, He helps her up off the floor and they begin walking around the house. He stops at a window and begins to tell her, "My dear sweet Shad0wz I was hoping this curse would not effect you in such a way, but none the less the voices you hear are from the half of the blood I do not accept nor acknowledge anymore. They are from my mother's side. See my father your Grand-Sire was a full assamite Vampyr and he took an insane malkavian woman as his bride, and they did the blood bond, and when they bonded her madness was leaked into our blood. So we are half breeds. We are what most would consider a freak of nature, and freaks in society because we have both bloods running through our veins." Looking at him she begins to wonder again if it's really the madness of the voices or is it something else drawing her into finally seeking vengeance against those that hurt her as a mortal. Staring out the window watching the moon dance across the sky, she leans her head against the window and for the first time in years she begins to cry. Hearing this he moves behind her and places his arms gently around her, and holds her in his grasp as she cries.
Standing there for hours in total silence she finally turns around and faces him and begins to speak, "Father, you are the one that took me in, and showed me what it was to finally belong somewhere and I know you have watched me for years trying to figure out why society had pushed me away and the truth of the matter is this, there were times you said yourself that no one could find me, and that was because I would spend 30 to 60 days locked up in a mental hospital because of the abuse I endured, it has left me badly scarred and I lack the full trust of people so I would do anything to make my medical pay for the longer stays, only because I didn't want to be out there around people, and yet this voice has always been in my mind, always telling me how I could kill someone and get away with it because society had labelled me legally insane." Stopping for a moment she looked away to let him absorb the information she just told him, and then looked down to the floor. He thought long and hard for a moment and then looked at her. "Shad0wz my dear sweet childe, I knew a long time that legally and mentally you had snapped, and it was from all the abuse you had to endure from those that were suppose to protect and guide you in your life, and I also know what you've had to give up for your sanity, and that is something no one should have ever had to do in their life. As for the voices, we will try to maintain them as best as we can, because from what I have seen they have also guided you this far in life, and will continue to do so for as long as we can keep their quest and thirst for vengeance and even though we do follow that code well. I can not and will not force you to take this kind of quest on alone. Should the time come that you wish to train in arms, we will find you the best warrior we have, and we begin training you as a lone assassin as you already know that is what we are, the lone warriors, scholars, and magicians of the vampyr life. We watch our prey closely, and learn their every movement before we extract our final revenge on them." Walking away from the window and down the hall way they were together and silently out of no where she began to understand the quest and thirst inside of her. As they turned the corner she stopped and said this allowed, "Si vis pacem, para bellum."Much to his amazement he knew she knew exactly what that meant, and understood it well. He stopped right in front of her and turned to face her, and she looked at him, and said " If you want peace, prepare for war"
He stood in front of the main hall doors.The very same room she was embraced in, and he turned to look at her, and for the first time he seen her true eye color, and how much hatred really lived behind her eyes. He smiled and said, "I see you've finally learned to trust me to see past the wall you had behind your eyes, and to let me see your true nature." She gave him a half smirk, before slamming that wall back in place, and said,"Well you have shown me nothing but love, or what it is that a Vampyr can give their Childe,so why should I hide what lurks deep in my cold dead heart, and not let you see what I have really endured." Smiling he knew she would become something violent and dangerous and deadly to all those around her. He turned again and opened the door where there were others standing in the middle of the room awaiting for her. With a puzzled look over her face, he stood next to her, and said , "My childe these are the people that will train you in whatever you want, Whether it be weapons, or magick, or even both, and you will still be our Vizier who researches, but I want you trained in combat as well, so that should you be out gathering intell one night, and you are attacked, you can and will protect yourself at all costs, and they will not survive the outcome once you are fully trained." One of the warriors took a step forward, knelt in front of her, and said , "We are all here for you young one, we will take our time, and we will show you extreme patience when it comes to preparing you for whatever it is that you seek, We will not over work, but we will not tolerate laziness either, you will work hard, and you will make your Father proud of you. I , Dante will train you in hand to hand combat." Standing up he stepped back, and the next stepped forward, and knelt before her and said, " I , Dominic, will train you in firearms, and melee weapons (swords and daggers) if you did not know he said with a smile." He too stood up and stepped back, and the last one to come forward was one she knew from years ago, and they looked at each other for a moment, and he knelt before her , "I, Isaac will be training you in all things magick and you will become the best spell caster this family has ever seen." Then he stood up and took his place next to the others, and they all looked at her and Drake.
Smiling she knew this would be a long hard journey and a lot of work will done, but she stood there, and looked at them all, and said gently, "I accept all the help I can get." They all approached her and stood around her, and Dante looked at her and said, " You will be the first woman we have trained, as it's rare that women become something like what you are about to become , a true Assamite, a true assassin that will have the fear of all around you. For they will never see what is coming, until it is to late, and they are dead." Drake stood next to her and said,"Shad0wz the reason you being trained this way is because most Viziers never leave the damn confines of the castle, but yet you wonder the world at night, and we want to make sure you are able to protect yourself. We've already witnessed how fast you can disappear into the shadows and vanish without a trace. You've already installed fear into the others that thought we were all but dead, and you will lead us into a new era. For you have chosen a life that many would fight against, but yet you embraced it so well, and do not fight with your dark side. Matter of fact your dark side has come out even more in the last month." Smiling she said, "Well why deny what I've always been, it wasn't until your offering of the gift, that I have become more alive in the recent months, and everyone has never tried to take the only piece of humanity I still cling to with my wolf." Dominic looked at her, and began to speak,"Shad0wz we know what is lurking in your heart ,as Drake has told us of your past, he wanted to make sure we would be the best suited for your needs, and he had seen a while back that you are at war with yourself inside, that you need this more then anything, if anything so that you can function normally again, and that vengeance you are wanting to seek now is so strong, once you are trained, it will become less inside you because then you can seek it all out , and never once be caught, because in the human world, you are DEAD to them." Smiling she shook her head, and agreed, "Yes I've been dead even before then, they just never knew it cause I lived in the shadows well."
She turned and walked out of the room and back down the hall to where her wolf was waiting for her. She opened the door and sure enough he was at the door waiting for her, she knelt on the floor in front of him, and he placed his head on her shoulder knowing she needed a hug. They looked at each other for a while then she said, "Odd drake, you really do keep my humanity alive, and not let my darkness consume me fully ,and for that I will always be indebt to you." He turned his head and then kissed her face, and knocked her over and laid on top of her as if to claim her. The old man stood in the door way laughing and said, "Childe it is so good to see you smile that does not have a motive behind it, and good that you are able to love something still in this shitty life they had given you, and I just hope what has happened in the past few months with you coming here, becoming my Childe, has not soured you totally." Smiling she responded, "No Father, I still love, but I just get along with animals better than humans and others, guess I always will because I can't trust them fully like I can with animals." Nodding he turned and left them.............................
The training will start in a few days she heard a voice say to her, and with that she curled up next to drake, and went to sleep.
Sadly though she had lost everything, as someone was sent to kill everyone including her, but she made it out safely, and went underground to hide from those fiends, and try to find the answers she seeks, and still today she roams aimlessly around wanting answers and trying to silence the voices in her head, but more importantly she wants to know why someone killed her entire FAMILY, the only true family she had ever had....
The Isolation
Since having lost everything, the only thing that did manage to make it out of the fire besides her was the wolf Drake. He had survived after all, and it was then she knew at least for the time being she was not alone. At least not with the last little bit of humanity she still clung to. She walked the ends of the world, searching for a new home, seeking a true companion. It was then she tried to walk from what she was. She learned to ignore the thirst for blood, and it went into a deep slumber that part of her had finally silenced, as did the voices she heard so much. So as she still walked in the shadows as the sunlight hurt her more then most ever thought, she kept that dark side of her silenced. For years she hunted high and low, searching for answers, wanting to know why her entire true family had been destroyed. What did they do wrong that everyone including her was to be put to death? What was she to do now without guidance, a home to hide in, without someone to talk too. From time to time when she would walk down the street with Drake the looks would soon start again. A woman walking a pure white wolf with ice blue eyes, and no one but her could understand him. Or so she thought. Trying to live the life of a mere mortal and ignoring the blood calls, she met someone, and they had a connection right away, she fell madly in love with him, and was able to keep that monster inside her at a total silence, as she went into her mind , constructed a prison and slammed that monster in there, walked out and slammed the door shut, locked it, then placed a highly constructed reinforced iron and steel in front of it. Forever to ignore that beast as best as she could.
For years she lived like a mortal. One day she told him what she was, and how she came to be. She looked at her love, and in a soft voice spoke to him, " Leo, I must tell you something. Something I've never told another soul, and I do not know how you will take to it. " He turned and looked at her and said, "What is it my beloved,For anything you tell me will remain between us." Sighing she got up and paced their apartment before turning and looking at him and speaking, " As you know I'm different from most women, I age differently, I am highly intelligent for my age, and I am unlike you have ever met." Laughing he respond,"Yes my love, you are totally different and that is what I love about you." Sighing she turned facing away from him, and started talking again. " But I am different from everyone, more then you will ever believe or know of. I am something nature calls a freak, a mistake in this world. I have no family, no friends, my only true best friend sits there next to you, Drake, the only thing that has truly kept me human for all these years." He pats Drake on the head, and says ,"Yes I am glad he has done that much for you, and has accepted me and let me be apart of your life as well." He then gets up and walks towards, and stands behind her at the window she is looking out. Amazingly at the silence between them she feels a relief for once. Still not telling him what she is , and she never will. She keeps it hidden from the world, as she was taught to do. To uphold the masquerade of keeping who she is silent. Never knowing who is a hunter, and who is searching for her. She had dyed her hair, decided to wear glasses, and so forth anything to hide her true identity on who she is. She kept the name Shad0wz though, but just shortened it to Shad, so many thought her true name was "Shade" and she'd get frustrated when they'd call her "Shady" but let it pass. The months had turn to years and she thought she had finally found the one to walk to the dark path with. Letting down her guard, and everything around him, letting him into her life even more. Would even teach him things, because he wanted to learn, then one day without any notice, Leo had turned on her. It was after going to doctors to find out why they could not have a family. All the doctors told them was that she was not able to get pregnant. This turned Leo into a cold heartless bastard towards her. He would go silent on her, then as they were sitting in a room one day, he turned and took his cigarette and placed it on her back and put it on her.
This was the end of her peaceful life as she knew it. She laid into him for it, and he claimed it was an accident and would NEVER happen again. Being a total love sick fool she believed him, and kept trying to find ways to work out their issues. But inside her mind that beast was coming to life. The blood thirsty fiend was trying to find a way out of it's cage. It wanted to come back to life. To tear him apart and everything for hurting her. It was then she realized this was not a beast, it was a true personality and it had been there all along. Protecting her from the abusive fiends she encountered. They would fight and tear into each other verbally, and two days before he decided he would leave her. He laid into her one more time. Cut her back deeply, burned her repeatedly and even though she tried to seek help, her background of the hospitals rendered her helpless. Planning on a way to get rid of him for this. She decided she would wait a week before a major holiday and it would be then she would extract her revenge on him. Funny though because sometime in before the night she picked out to extract her revenge on him, he had packed up and left. Coward she thought when she rose the next morning to find Drake laying next to her, along with a note. Sighing a bit of relief, she looked at Drake, and apologized to him and said it would NEVER happen again. She started isolating herself more and more, only coming out to search for the answers she was dying to find. It was then she was approached and brought back into the life,and was told "You can be yourself" and by that we mean "YOUR TRUE SELF" so she unleashed the blood thirsty beast from its confines, and let it rampage rapidly, but yet what they did not know by telling her this would come back to bite them in the ass, because they had demanded she HUNT and TURN others for them. Instead she became a protector of humans, even though unsure what this purpose was driven so hard inside her, she did, and she loathed being what she was.
She ignored her blood thirst, and she did it with such ease, then was given an opportunity to join yet another family, and as much as something inside her told her not too, she did, and it was then she realized how much she would always be conflicted with the beast that lived inside her, and the humanity that she tried so hard to cling too, so again she walked away again, bad mouthing the entire thing, waiting and wanting someone to come and kill her, put her out of her misery, this was something she was wanting so badly. But after a few weeks, she was able to ignore it yet again, and tried to live a normal life. But something always kept drawing her back into the true nature of being a vampiress, a blood thirst fiend, that was sometimes a protector of humans, and other times a monster. After walking from the life again, she was able to to find an inner peace within herself, and started to terrorize others, and it was then she was approached yet again, brought back into the life, and she knew this time she would stay, only to remind those that tried to accept her, that this too would come back and bite them in the ass, and HARD , this time she became even more vocal about it. Posted things in various places, bad mouthed everything and everyone, and it was one person that was determined to find out why she was this way and approached her, keeping his distance, he offered her a home, After a few hours talking and everything and him saying "What do you really have to lose?" she sighed and gave up bad mouthing the system and people, and accepted the home. This is where she has lived for the last 3 months coming and going as she pleases, asking questions along the way, and always remembering that she is a fiend, and she will always be a monster in eyes of humans, and has come so far in this time. She still searches for answers, and so forth and when she can't get the answers, that is when she'll ask the questions, then slinks back into the shadows. Watching, waiting, and tormenting her prey, she protects some, and does not feed off the ones in her life, as they do not truly know she is a monster, she works with humans and as tempting as it sometimes is to feed off them, she shows true restraint and does not. But upset her, and she will be fast with a bite that will leave them wondering what happened. She has decided to live a simple life for now, no longer rushing into anything, knowing that one day she will find another like her, conflicted with who and what they are, and want to walk the dark path with her until then. She lurks around hiding in the shadows, and living freely as she can....
...........................................The story still continues as it's being written along the way!!!
Alone and Lost
Her madness drives her to do incoherent things. The voices that plague her mind, causing her to retreat back into hiding, away from all. She wants nothing to do with them again, and why does this always seem to happen to her? She's not entirely sure, but she retreats back into the shadows to hide from people, to avoid them. She knows they have accepted her, but fearful and every wondering who is going to destroy her, or kill that little piece of humanity she clings to. She runs, far away and hides again. Never seeking , Rarely speaking, Working continuously on projects that many would never understand, doing her late day jobs, and leaving after it's all said and done. She has accepted that her entire existence is a mistake, and that some even laugh at her, because she just will not give up. She CAN NOT give up. It's not in her vocabulary at all. Something drives her. Yet she does not know what it is that drives her, nor in all reality does she honestly care anymore. She sinks into a deep depression and no one can reach her, so they let her go, and even though she knows she can not die, she often wishes for it, daily, hourly, trying to find a way out always. Tormented with what she is, what she does, and how easily it is for her manipulate a humans mind at her very will. She tries desperately to ignore the voices in her head, telling her that no one likes her, that they only feel pity for her because she was left without a home, and that no one will ever accept her, or even as much as she fights to deny it, love her, yes that mortal emotion she loathes so much because she is in a world without it. So she constantly roams looking for another soul like hers, much twisted with the darkness the humans have left, and yet walks the immortal path just as she does. Only she finds nothing of that sort, so companion ship of a vamp just like her. One she can hide with during the day, and hunt at night with. Instead she clings to her last bit of humanity trying to keep it alive for another day, week, month, something because if she knows if it chooses to die, she will become the monster that will need to be put down and fast.
So she roams the worlds, seeking something anymore she’s unsure, just trying to keep that blood thirsty beast locked away inside her, clinging to her humanity, wanting something, but yet she’s so fearful of others, both mortal and kindred a like. So she continues to research, trying to find a way to break free from her madness, and when those voices start out the cries to vengeance yet again, she throws on her headphones, and drowns them out, ignoring them, and what they want. She’s grief stricken, and insane, and it all leaves her to wonder, who will really want an insane vamp at their side? One that has many sides of her personality, a personality so torn and shattered that she leaves the world as it is, doesn’t offer to make it a better place, instead she’d rather see it covered in black and red. Her favorite colors, the colors of her heart, She sighs as she walks back into the shadows alone, unsure of the outcome and the time that is about to come around her……………………